


not just friends ;; johnten

by johntenskies



Category: NCT, Nctzen, Ten - Fandom, WAYV, johnny - Fandom, johnten - Fandom, weishennies
Genre: A bit of angst i guess, Definitely no smut, M/M, dAMN IM BAD IN WRITING but this one turned out good tho, johnten, johnten nation fucking rise please, one shot johnten!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 22:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19186279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johntenskies/pseuds/johntenskies
Summary: "we're not just friends and you fucking know it."in which they're both too afraid to confess to each other.





	not just friends ;; johnten

**Author's Note:**

> hello this is my third oneshot ever idk exactly if it turned out good but pleaaase read 'till the end hahaha 
> 
> ALSO I MISS JOHNTEN I JUST CANNOT WITH THIS GODDAMN DROUGHT
> 
> too lazy to proof read lol
> 
> love lots x

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it." ten suddenly blurts out out of the blue.

 

it was at around eleven thirty in the evening. ten all cuddled up and had his arms wrapped around johnny's waist and the latter fiddling his best friend's hair. ten resting his head on johnny's chest, while his faced was being caressed. this was what both of them wanted, easing out and slacking off while feeling and indulging in each other's presence, watching some romantic comedy they randomly chose among the dvds. 

 

but something definitely did not feel right.

 

johnny was taken aback with what he heard, and silently prayed that it was not what he thought it was. reaching for the remote and turning the tv off, he faced ten. and their faces were so damn near that he could feel ten's breath gushing out of his lips.

 

"w-what do you mean by that, tennie?"

 

there was a brief instant of ten getting lost into his best friend's beautiful brown eyes as soon as he realized he was called that one nickname johnny himself had given him.

 

the thai boy came to his senses and quickly sat up while trying to avoid his hyung's gaze. "forget it, hyung. it's not like you want to talk about it, right? let's ju-" before he can even stand up johnny firmly gripped his wrist and pulled him down to the couch, only to cause a silent 'ow' from the younger. 

 

johnny didn’t want to admit, but he's been liking ten for as long as he can remember. he wasn't entirely sure why, how, or when it started. perhaps it was the way ten smiled at almost everything he was passionate about, like discovering a cool new choreography, or finding out that he made it into this dance academy he's been dreaming of studying to. or maybe it was the way his finger would run through his hair whenever he got frustrated. among all the other million reasons, he was a hundred-and-one percent sure that it was because of ten's huge heart. no one has made johnny feel his worth, especially having to grow up in an abusive and relentless home.  _ ten made him feel safe. _

 

johnny, having to get used to bottling up his emotions, never really knew how to not suddenly lash out at someone when he just couldn't take it. he did it a couple of times in high school, and the first person he lashed out on was ten. and he immensely loathed himself for it. 

 

_ "why couldn't you just leave me alone? is this how you think of me? some weak kid who somehow winded up like this just because my parents never loved me? why do you always butt in, ten?!" they were both in their last year of high school when it took place. the taller's eyes started welling up but luckily it wasn't visible because of the rain pouring.  _

 

_ ten, however johnny tried to push himself from him, never got tired of being there for him, from his happiest and gleeful moments to his worst, melancholic days. no matter how hurtful it was for him seeing and hearing those words from his hyung, he never, ever gave up. he knew, boy did he know how extremely difficult it was for johnny to go through all those things as a child, neglect and constant physical abuse, which led to him bleeding and having cuts all over his arms that night. _

  
  
  


_ ten slowly took steps towards johnny, and eventually seeing him close up. he stared at him, with ease and comfort in his eyes. he has never seen johnny in this state, a huge purple bruise surrounding his left eye, a bleeding cut on his lower lip, and countless of small other bruises all over his arms. _

 

_ ten reached out a hand and softly wiped the taller lad’s tears away using his thumb. _

 

_ johnny’s sobs grew even louder than the pouring storm, and his breathing quickened as he tried to draw himself away from ten, ashamed of how he looked, ashamed of crying, and ashamed of his insensitive words. he just couldn’t bring himself to look at ten in the eyes especially when he was in this state, a crying mess, a vulnerable and weak ass who can’t even defend himself. but ten always found a way. _

 

_ in his ever reassuring voice, ten, who reached to both of his hyung’s hands, still intently staring at him, say, “shhh, it’s okay, johnny. everything will be alright. i got you, darling.”  _

 

_ johnny, still facing the floor, while his hands were covering his mouth trying to suppress the whimpers that came out, felt a pair of arms wrapped around his torso. it was when he saw ten’s head leaning against his chest had he realized how he somehow managed to calm down. his sobs reduced, and he no longer felt the same fright he used to feel.  _

 

_ “i’m always here for you, hyung. please, please don’t push me away anymore, please.” _

 

_ the thai boy looked up, having to face johnny and his puffy eyes.  _

 

_ perhaps it was six years ago, did johnny feel that ten was his saviour. _

  
  
  
  


“yes, i do want to talk about it.” he said, staring back in ten’s eyes clouded with uncertainty. johnny definitely did not see this coming. was he finally going to confess his undying love for the man he’s known for nearly his entire life? was he going to be blatantly rejected? did ten manage to find out how johnny’s felt for him all this time?

 

silence engulfed the two, until johnny decided to speak, hoping that he won’t screw it up.

  
  


“ten, listen.. i just wanted to te- well i wasn’t actually planning on saying this anytime soon or ever.” his heart began beating twice, or maybe even thrice as fast. he didn’t know where to start, should he tell everything that made him fall for ten? or should he just straight up confess? he never thought it was this hard until he was inevitably trapped in this situation. it was so out of the blue that this topic was even brought up, but it was now or never for him.

 

“I actually li-” he was interrupted by ten.

 

“i know what you want.” ten cut him off, seemingly a little confidence building up in him (which he was so grateful for). The other boy’s eyes widened a bit.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

“it’s me, isn’t it?” ten chuckled as he looked at johnny’s hazel brown eyes. he can tell. he can always tell that the older saw him quite differently, and more than just a best friend. Those subtle signs that led him to believe that maybe, just maybe, johnny liked him back. this small hope was what he clung to all these years, praying that his hyung will eventually like him back. he waited, and waited.

 

at this point, the american boy blinked a few times, trying to come up with a response. but nothing came out of his mouth. ten’s boldness was nothing new to him, but it felt different for the first time. he then stood up, desperately wishing that this was never brought up. how can ten possibly know that? was i too obvious? Thoughts bombarded his mind but he still refused to confess, not yet.

 

johnny headed for the counter, attempting to make themselves a snack (which he actually wasn’t going to, his ass was too lazy to even stand up, but anything, anything was better than talking about this topic that they’re both in). 

 

to his disbelief, ten hopped off on one of the couches and followed him unhesitantly. he was grinning, and although johnny did not look him in the eye, he thanked his (self-proclaimed) “excellent” peripheral vision.

 

“go on sweetheart, say it.” tilting his head and eliminating any distance between him and the taller.

 

their faces were so, so near that johnny felt that he’d be dead the moment ten hears his heart pounding so goddamn loudly. the american didn’t respond, god did he want this to end. he was afraid, so afraid of all the possibilities. he can’t confess just yet, or ever. what they had now was better than the other finding out and rejecting him. but god forbid did he want to kiss those dainty, arousal lips which had ten’s tongue running through his own lips. 

 

continuing to make whatever the hell he was going to make, johnny took a step farther from ten, deliberately ignoring (or at least trying to ignore him).

 

but oh my god

  
  
  


those lips

  
  
  


what.the.fuck

  
  
  
  
  


ten immediately scoffed, whilst locking his arms to his chest. “denying doesn’t help your case much, johnny.” 

  
  


silence embraced the atmosphere once again, and the older was now cutting some vegetable. the only thing that was heard was the ticking of the clock, but other than that, nothing. ten stood there, staring at his hyung.  _ it’s no use.  _ he thought. 

 

ten heaved a sigh. he wanted to give up trying. But he knew perfectly well that they weren’t “just friends” like how they claim themselves to be. for the past half a decade, he’d feel jitters around his hyung as he’d cover his face flushed pink. or when he’d feel his heart palpitate and his palms get sweaty whenever johnny’s around. but boy oh boy was the taller persistent. ten wanted to know, he needed to know if this flustered feelings of love he’s always felt for johnny would somehow be reciprocated. and he was more than willing to do whatever the hell it takes.

 

ten’s grin disappeared as he slowly came to the realization that this was going nowhere. 

 

“for fuck’s sake, johnny. please,  _ please,  _ say something! anything.” he said, as his voice cracked at the last word.

 

again, silence. no response, no words whatsoever.

 

_ maybe it was a stupid idea to bring this up,  _ ten thought to himself, still standing there, staring back at his best friend. if he could muster up all the courage, he would confess. he really would, hesitance and anxiety drew himself back from doing so.

 

_ i’m sorry, ten. i really am. i’d tell you soon, but not now.  _ johnny, on the other hand, persistently shunned him. he just couldn’t bring himself from telling ten the truth, how he’d always find himself constantly thinking about his best friend. 

  
  
  
  


_ little did they both know, they liked each other. but the fear of rejection was the only thing that was hindering them back. _

  
  
  
  
  


the thai boy felt his heart sink. hopelessness builds up as he desperately waited for an answer. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


johnny dropped the knife loudly, causing the shorter to flinch. ten’s brows furrowed in guilt as he felt his knees and mouth quiver. he’s never seen this side of johnny before, and it frightened him.

  
  


he took a step back, and brusquely got his stuff on the living room table. he then headed towards the door. but before he even got to leave, johnny said something, which made ten abruptly stop.

 

“do you really want to know?” he said, now turning himself towards where ten was. his voice was innocuous, benign, and full of gentleness.  _ thank god,  _ ten thought as he nervously fidgeted his hands and bit his bottom lip. he turned around, now facing johnny. his enrapturing figure, his partially parted black hair that had his bangs slightly covering his eyes. damn, ten could stare at him all day.

 

“i tried ten.. i really tried so hard.. to suppress my feelings for you, i wanted to deny it b-but it was just too impossible. “ johnny looked down as he felt the younger walk towards him. he wasn’t sure either what the taller was talking about, until

 

“i like you, ten! there, i said it. “ 

 

and there was it. the words that ten was dying to hear specifically from the only man he fell in love with. he felt his heart skip a beat as the first three words played in his head over and over again. he was literally at lost for words, he felt as if the rest of the world had stopped its usual, mundane, spinning and the only person that mattered was the man standing in front of him. 

 

“all these years, maybe even decades, i tried.. i swear to god, ten, i-” his perturbation evident in his actions, with his hands running through his hair. the dancer noticed how johnny’s eyes were excessively blinking, unable to make eye contact with him. 

 

“but seeing you everyday, spending time with you just made me fall deeper in love with you even more. the day i met you i almost lost my entire world. i was literally crumbling down to pieces when you came into my life and  your beaming smile was all it took everything to be fine again. don’t you get it, ten? i’m so fucking in love with you i just can’t help but think every night what it would be like to have you- and not just as best friend. “

 

ten, at this point, just wanted to hug and kiss johnny all day, reassuring him that everything was going to be fine, that they were going to work this out together. he planned on confessing just right after johnny did until, 

 

“but..” the older sighed, still unable to meet ten’s gaze. he held his hair and pulled them slightly. tears welling up in his eyes.

 

ten walked up to his hyung to reach for his cheeks and gently cupping them.

  
  


“but why,  _ baby _ ?”

 

_ baby.  _

 

shivers down his spine traveled as that word echoed in his mind, but luckily he was able to snap out of it.

the taller lad looked into ten’s eyes, who were now clouded with sympathy, love, and endearment. it gives him warmth, a sense of security, and those eyes looking back at him, those eyes that has always told him everything was going to be okay, as long as they’re together, as if it was the world against the both of them.

 

“but i c-can’t fall in love with my own best friend, ten!” he removed the cupped hand and walked away from him.

 

“you see, i don’t want the things between us to change. everything we’ve been through together all these years.. i don’t want those to be put to waste just because someone fell in love with the other..i cherish those, ten. every second of it. i’ve been holding myself back from telling you how i feel, how you make my heart flutter every time we hang out, how my heart does this ineffable thing when you radiate that smile. it’s always been like that, ten. constant denying just led me to falling harder and it s-so hard i can’t even go a day without checking up on you, asking you if you’re fine whenever you seem down because it hurts, ten. it hurts having to see you go through shit on your own and i want to be that someone that you’d let your walls down to- i want y-you. i want  _ us  _ to happen.”

 

johnny pursed his lips together, still out of breath, and eyes were glued to the floor. never in his entire existence did he think that he’d be able to say those words to ten; it felt exhilarating, to finally confess, after more than a decade of holding back. 

 

Ten, walking closer to his hyung, still feeling overwhelmed at what he heard.

 

“just reject me and go, ten. i know you and that co-dancer of yours have a thing. go on, say it.” johnny tried his best to avoid ten’s eyes, he didn’t want him to see his own vulnerability. 

 

but he eventually gave in, only to meet ten’s eyes staring intently at him, beaming that smile that he was always fond of.

 

the dancer began burst out into a laughter.

 

“did you really think i was going to turn you down, darling?” 

 

he then resumed with his (now hysterical) laughing, which stirred some confusion to the other.

 

“don’t be silly, johnny. I love you. so fucking much. god, i’ve been wanting to tell you that since forever. it feels good to finally be able to say it.”

 

Johnny, too, was as speechless as ten was minutes ago. this extreme adrenaline rush going back and forth in his veins was indeed indescribable. 

 

“ten i-”

 

ten stood on the tips of his toes while staring at johnny’s moist lips. before he can even mutter something, the next thing he knew, he felt the younger’s lips touch his. it was abrupt, something he definitely did not expect, yet so passionate and gentle.

  
  


both of them drifted into blurriness and drowned in ecstasy. with closed eyes, their tongues found a way to make this more intimate and exhilarating, which caused some kind of sexual arousal. johnny held ten’s waist and bent over slightly. before they knew it, they were getting breathless. simultaneously pulling back, they ended up staring in each other’s eyes, once again losing themselves in each other’s beautiful and enrapturing galaxies in them.

 

_ “i love you too, chittaphon.”  _

**Author's Note:**

> if u read 'till the end, i love you <3


End file.
